This is the tenth and final part in a multi-part tale of my experience with Greek life and sororities. This is not meant to offend, put down, or upset anyone about being in a sorority or being Greek (I was one too!). It is just my recount of how I became Greek, what happened once I became Greek, and how I ended my affiliation. Please do not take this offensively in any way.
It’s been almost three years since I resigned from my sorority. I am often asked how I feel about it and if I think I made the right decision or even if I regret my decision.
The way I see it now, and the way I’ve always seen it, is that I was almost backed into a corner when the information was dropped about the “cushion” being added to our dues. I financially could not afford for someone else to be “free loading” off of my hard-earned money and in return not able to have fun and go to events myself. I feel like, at that point, because all of us that actually pay our dues, were forced to pay for other people whether we chose to or not. I simply did not have the financial capabilities to do so and therefore, I was stuck in a hard place with almost no other choice but to get out of it.
I wish that the advisors could have worked with me more to get me to stay. When I received the “good luck with your life” email, it was almost like a slap in the face to me. All of the time, all of the money, and all of the effort I had spent over the last two years didn’t matter. Why? Because I wasn’t a “popular girl” or in a position of leadership. Like I mentioned before, it’s not because I didn’t want to be, it’s because I couldn’t be. Not everyone is handed things in life, and I come from a family that believes that I must work for what I want, and sorority dues were one of them.
I hate that I turned some of my own sisters against me in my resignation. I wish that perhaps I could have written a truthful, but less harsh resignation letter. But I was upset, and it showed through my written words. (Which I often tend to do in my life, as I express myself best through writing) I could have easily made up a reason and written a letter that said, “Sorry, I can’t give much of my time anymore and that’s not fair,” but that’s not who I am. I am a terrible liar and cannot write something I don’t believe in or that’s not the truth at all. I understand why sisters were upset with me, but I truthfully do not think it was ever a valid reason to end friendships and a sisterhood that we all share no matter if someone is active or not.
I truly in my heart believe that once someone is initiated, they are then let in to a sisterhood that no one else can even begin to experience except with other sisters. Whether a sister ends that early or not, they were still initated. I still share all the secrets. I still know the ritual. I still know our password, our handshake, and what our letters stand for. I still remember my initiation at FSU and what we as a pledge class went through that weekend to get there. And because I ended my “active years” early, that doesn’t make any of that go away. Once initiated, always initiated. Once a sister, always a sister.
Looking back on it now, almost three years since I was an active, I only keep in touch with a few girls from my chapter. These girls have proven to me that no matter what happened with my membership, they still consider me a sister. They believe that I did what I had to do for myself, but they don’t resent me for it. They still consider me a sister, a friend, and someone they can trust. A few told me that I was an amazing girl in our chapter and it was so unfortunate that I had to go. To this day, I still believe that, and I almost pride myself on those words I was once told. I hate that people hate me. I hate that they hate what I did. I hate that they won’t talk to me for reasons that were really, at the end of the day, out of either one’s control. I don’t resent, hold a grudge, or have anger toward my chapter or the organization. What’s done is done and what is in the past is over and there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change it. I’m sorry for any pain or hurt I caused anyone, but I hope that through this chronicle of my story, the truth is spelled out in a way that everyone can understand.
I still consider myself a sister, even now. I associate myself with those letters and still believe that I am a part of that sisterhood. I’ve met a few people through this blog who are in the same sorority at other schools and I tell them that I am a Kappa too. Because I believe I am. No matter what, I am a Kappa. No matter what, I was initiated into my family as a part of the Eta class of the Eta Eta Chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma.